i just google imaged poop.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
