Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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