Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
