Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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