I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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