at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
