i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
