Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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