I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
