Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
