the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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