apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
