I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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