How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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