Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
