And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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