awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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