..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"