3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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