God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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