When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I lost the right to judge tonight
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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