Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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