Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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