I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He shit in the fireplace
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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