Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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