wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
