I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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