Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
