I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
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I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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