While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize