yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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