Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
