I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I understand Curling. That high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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