You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
