I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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