It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
