My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
