when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
