if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
