Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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