my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
