girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
