I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dignity is for republicans.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
