biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize