yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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