I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
