well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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