best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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