She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
