shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
