Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize