Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
