Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
