i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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