Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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