Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
