In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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