he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
