Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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