coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
