Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
