I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
