is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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