Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
