I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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