forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you will always have a special place in my vag
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize