I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
