3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
